What is Buddhist No Self?

I had a solid question come up recently:

I’ve been reflecting on some of the core ideas of Buddhism, and I’d love to hear different perspectives:

If there is no permanent “self,” then who is meditating? Who is trying to purify karma?

How do you balance personal ambition (career, family, goals) with the idea of non-attachment?

Is renunciation only for monks, or can a layperson also live in the world and still follow the Dharma deeply?

How do you personally practice mindfulness of death without becoming anxious or nihilistic?

What role does forgiveness play in your spiritual journey? Can you forgive without forgetting?

I’m not asking to debate, but to understand. If you follow Buddhism—either traditionally or in a modern way—how do you live these teachings in your daily life?

Let’s talk 🙏

My two cents:

I think of no self as down the road a ways from discovering the nature of suffering. Why do you suffer?

What is the cause of this suffering? The paradoxical experience of sitting in silence and observing thoughts come and go is far more important than wondering about something abstract like self/no self.

Ultimate goal is experiencing mundane existence as sacred and worthwhile. No chaser needed.

Sharon Salzberg, Pema Chodron, Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach have been my main youtube teachers. Thich Nhat Hanh has been so helpful in cultivating a granular understanding of our bodies generating and creating peace.

When I got to the point of seeing a gap sometimes between my reaction to something and a thought that triggered it, I was able to sit still longer and enjoy understanding the automatic nature of thought.

This is not Buddhism per se, but I see the self at 70 differently than if you are in your 30's making a family. Back then I had the sneaking suspicion that even though I wanted to believe I'm OK You're OK, there was really something wrong with me.

Now I see a self -- any self -- as a highly sophisticated organic operating system that has universal qualities -- solidarity with all humans. We are essentially working day and night to reduce threats and embarrassment in our super social lives.

The fact that you are different than me has to do with the presets you were born into-- your family of origin and the trauma drama that was your parents and siblings in the catastrophe of your childhood.

I teach people metta meditation to trees and plants since it is a lot less charged than thinking of people.

And I want people I teach to work out 1-3 hours a day outside without devices. So for me that is a swim team early in the morning, then a 3 mile walk and talk with friends or clients, and another hour later in the day with weights, rings, body weight like the Strength Side bros and Mike Chang teach on youtube.

I’m also plant strong and find this eating mostly plants is part of ahimsa, nonharm. I found Dr. Bobby Price super helpful for weight loss, eating whole foods and love his devotion to creating healthy soul food.

I'm a fan of you finding your way into this wilderness by yourself. But it helps to go together. Create small teams. We are pack animals. There is no individual.

This time exercising and being outside unplugged helps create room for daydreaming, boredom and essential creative flow found in the beautiful kaleidoscope we call nature. Leaves, trees, birds flying by are ultimate mindfulness. Think about your scattered mind trying to live in a small screen when your nervous system is wired for hunting. Your true nature.

Meditation is hunting. You are hunting for a still moment when sitting in front of a candle, you are simply sitting in front of a candle. No extra thoughts pulling you away, no distractions into memory or regrets in the past, No fears of the future. Simply being present to experience our ever changing life.

This is also the experience of the expert rock climber, hunter and writer. We enter the magical land of moment to moment attention.

This takes enormous discipline and self mastery for me. I drink coffee when I am sitting just to throw water on your thoughts that I am sitting still and watching breath.

I actually think this is true: Self mastery leads you to choose to be kinder to everyone beginning with yourself. Taking care of yourself first, you are available to serve others and reduce the suffering in others. How to do this practically? Automatic thoughts can be interrupted with practice by a mantra or in the case of metta repeating

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I be free of fear

May I keep a joyful mind

Then you are immersed in "No self" because you experience interdependence, compassion and selflessness.

I hope this is helpful. These days I read and give away Roger Walsh's book Essential Spirituality because it is $5 on thrift or Abe books and easy to buy and give to friends and family. Walsh asks great questions and has exercises from the world's religions to cultivate kindness, love, joy and peace. Look the book up and read it to see if it is a fit for you.

I’m also drawn to Joseph Goldstein’s A Heart Full of Peace

The purpose of life is to be a contribution.

Meditation helps me contribute by helping me see that thoughts are clouds floating by, that life is impermanent, we are interdependent, and compassion towards self and others builds a muscle for peace on Earth and good will toward women, men and all plants and animals.

Tim Colman
Good Nature Publishing

Seattle.